My Name is Hari and I am a college student. I stay with my parents. They are very affectionate towards me. They spend more time in office and get less time to spend for me. I study well, but I got severe fever in final year examination, so I could not score excellent marks. My parents joined me in engineering in some other city. They decided to do this, so that I will get some responsibility.
They gave internet connection during my twelvth vacations, so that I can learn a lot of useful things. But, I began to use it in a wrong way. Even though, there were a lot of bad results after using internet, I could not stop using them in a bad way. My age was the main reason for doing so. I had a strange habit. I like to wear women’s clothes and I was so much desperate in doing it.
I was unable to control it. Whenever, I was alone in my home, I used to wear my mother’s dress and think myself as a women. I never knew, if it was right or wrong. I feel it was wrong but I was not able to stop doing it. There are a lot of people known as crossdressers, who also have a habit like this and I got to know about crossdressers from internet.
After connecting with them, I understood that there is nothing wrong for a guy to dress like women, but I don’t know why guys have these restrictions. Girls are wearing Shirt and Pant like men, there is nothing wrong or no restriction for them. But why do they restrict men to wear sarees, chudi and other girly dresses. I got angry on the society. If a guy wear these dresses the society calls us Transgender, Hijda and other bad names.
Each and every guy has a women inside him, but she is invisible to most of us. The person who is women by heart as well as dressing is Transgender, the person who is women by dressing is called as crossdresser.I started chatting with a lot of persons in facebook. I used to login to facebook in my crossdresser account than the real account. There were a lot of real crossdressers but they stayed very far from me.
They considered me as fake and was never ready to help me. I thought of getting help from certain guys who call themselves as CD admirers but they demanded sex from me. I did not know what to do. I can wear my mom’s dresses whenever I am in home and control my Crossdressing desires. What will happen to me, when I stay away from home ?
i didn’t know, whom to share these problems. I had a account in my name it is known as Harini Sweety. I would like people to call me as Harini from my childhood. My mom used to tell Hari “nee seivathu suthmaga seri illai ” (What you are doing is not right), I used to hear as Harini what you are doing is not right ? From that time, my mind will be thinking, If someone won’t call me as Harini. So, I kept my name as Harini in Facebook.
There were a lot of guys who approach me to satisfy their sexual desires and crossdressers did not trust me. I felt heartbroken and wanted to give up crossdressing. I prayed to god, not to give such a difficult situation to any other person. I was not looking for many people, I just want a person, who can help me in dressing. They must be my protector, friend. But, I failed in finding the right person. Some asked my phone number and many asked for my pictures.
I never wanted to take pics, when I am crossdressed. Moreover, I did not want to share my pictures with strangers. What if they misuse my pictures for money. I thought of waiting for right person for 2 to 3 days, If no one comes, we will approach those sex seekers only. I felt that I can agree to their demands, if they help me in dressing up as women. My mind began the oscillation to become a women and I did not know, how to control it.
I was looking for someone to save. At that time, I met a good person in facebook. He told that he stay alone in an apartment and his wife died already. He told that he want to marry for second time. He told that he is not interested in marrying a women, the reason he stated that the women coming as second wife, won’t respect her husband much. This is just his perspective. He wanted to give life to a Transgender. He told that the persons whom he met, looked for money.
He understood about me. He told that he would help me. He told that there are a lot of dresses of his wife and he told that he will help me by giving them. He told that he wants my heart and not body. We began to chat a lot on facebook. Suddenly on a Friday, he asked me to come to his house. He told that he would help me in crossdressing. He told that he would help me to dress up like a women for those 2 days and make me enjoy my femininity.
He told that he has purchased a long hair wig as well as for me. I reached his house. I rang his calling bell. He opened the door and asked me to get inside his house. He locked the door, tied my eyes with a handkercheif and took me inside another room.
What had happened to him, he is also like other CD admirers only ? Did he call me for satisfying his sexual desires ? I had these questions on my mind. But, he was different from me. After leaving me inside his bedroom, he showed me his wife’s wardrobe. He asked me to wear those dresses whichever he liked. He asked me to wear the dress that I like and wear the wig on my head and do makeup and come back to him.
I was confused to choose the dress, that I liked to wear. The reason behind it was, I liked all the dresses. I don’t know which one to select and which one to leave. After a lot of difficulty, I choose Cream colour blouse and same colour saree. I never knew if he already knew my measurements. His wife’s dresses fitted me very much perfectly. He knocked the door and asked me are you still dressing. He asked me if I need his help in dressing.
I replied him not needed. After a struggle of 45 minutes, I came out of the bedroom. He was shocked to see me. He saw me and told that I was confused how will you look at these dresses. You look like a village belle. I got angry on him and asked Do I look like a village girl ? He told that he told it just for fun and asked me not to take it so serious.
We were like 2 friends. He never approached me with any bad thoughts. He wanted to take a photo with me. I agreed to do it. It was due to the trust I had with him. I decided to do whatever he wanted without any hesitation. I wanted to submit myself to him. He behaved with a lot of affection towards me. He showed me humanity. He asked me to have dinner with him. He asked me he has a desire and can you fulfill them.
I replied that you can tell me and I will it definitely if I can do it. I wanted him to ask me to get engaged with him. My mind was fully filled with him. He told that he wanted to have a candle light dinner with his wife. But, it never happened with his wife. He asked me if he can have a candle light dinner with him. He asked me, if I could behave like wife till we have that dinner. I wanted to say him that I wanted to be his wife lifelong.
I thought that if I could agree to his demands without hesitation, then it won’t be nice. I acted as if I am thinking deeper. I took few minutes and told that I am agreeing to be his wife and have candle light dinner with him. He became happy and out of control, he kissed on my cheeks. Instead of stopping his actions, I was enjoying his moves.
After getting a single kiss, I stopped his movements further. I felt something fishy in this. I told him that I will sleep outside and you sleep in bedroom. He understood and told me that I am sorry, if I had done something wrong. I found it hard to sleep in saree. I decided to remove the saree and I decided to wear the nighty. This suggestion was provided by him and I changed to nighty. I felt very comfortable in nighty and slept very well.
He behaved with me without any lustful thoughts. I took the dresses that were supposed to be worn for me and Brushed my teeth, had bath and changed into another saree. I went to kitchen, put coffee and woke him up with coffee. He thanked me. He told that coffee is very good and it looks like coffee which his wife makes. He appreciate me for the coffee I gave him. He understood his limits and stayed within them.
He behaved like a understanding friend for these 2 days. I again started to like my life as a crossdresser. Whenever, I got time, I went to his home and started to wear ladies dress. We continued to meet often for these 4 years. We were very good friends and he was very supportive. After completing my degree, I got work in some other city. The friends there was male and I did not get any chance to crossdress.
I would say that those 4 years were golden days of crossdressing life. My mind did not oscillate because of him. He never spoiled me and neither spoiled his life. We were very friendly. I came to know that he married a real lady and I stopped meeting him. There might be thousands of things around me, but I am happy with the golden days, that I had spent with him. After that, I never got the chance or thought of crossdressing.
THE END…..
