Is it ok to want to be loved as a woman by your man?
Is it ok to want your man to ruin your masculinity?
Is it ok to be a wife in chastity for your love?
I wanna share my life.. here... please do or don't judge me.... i will accept the same with humility.
Though I haven't got married yet, i do stay with my boyfriend, in his appartment, as his live-in girl friend. I have been with him at his appartment for 6 months now, in our 2 years relationship.
I am a bengali in kolkata staying with my love. I still dont have female genitalia yet but I feel so strongly feminine, thanks to my love... for transforming into whatever I am today.
I can't spent a single day without him being him by my side, but dont let him understand that ... i want him to take care of me, tell me what to do, what not to do, get angry at me, love me, spoil me, pamper me and GOD oh GOD he does so spoils me. His love for me made me forget i was ever a man. I forgot I ever had body hair... even my voice feels so feminine in front of him. Do you think he owns me? May be deep down i always wanted someone strong to be by side, always keeping me on my toes.
But, he has been a monster on bed to me, he says i am his aphrodisiac, I hated him initially so much.... never knew when he turned that into love for him. He fulfilled all my wishes, trips, gifts, dresses, salon, shopping, night outs, jewels.... i feel so complete round him.
I had to get my ears, nose and navel pierced just for him..it pained like hell.... but today i love adoring myself with jewellery. It so much accentuates my femininity.
I love my man, and i miss him so much when he is out busy in office or with friends. He is so open with his friends and family about me, i found confidence in myself. When he introduced me to his mom dad, i was shit scared. But he being my side, i had to finally cry on the shoulders of his mom as talking to them made me so emotional, i couldn't hold myself. My love for him and his family increased that very day.
But in spite of being so nice to me most of the time, a man gets to be a man, he devours me, especially on the weekends... he is an arabic race horse on steroids. I feel so helpless and vulnerable, yet so submissive and fulfilled.
He always loves to see me in sarees, even his mom had gifted a few by now, and i have to fulfill his wishes most of the time. It feels so nice to make him happy, even though he is mean to me at times...you know what i mean.....hihi
He had birthday last week, i did a silly thing as a gift for him. He always had a thing of seeing me as a new pretty sexy bride ready for wedding with him. I had planned a surprise with the help of close friends, who did the dressing and makeup. I looked like a pretty new bride, exactly like one, with all heavy makeup and jewels along with a traditional benarasi saree.
We had a blast of a party. He literally put sindoor on my forehead and a heavy gold mangalsutra on my neck infront of our close friends. And strangely he sent our only photograph only to his mom. She called me up, and told me to take care of me and his son, again i had tears.... i cursed myself for being emotional infront of her and his son, but my man always knew how to cheer me up.
And from that day onwards i have been wearing all those jeweleries of a new bride along with a sindoor on my forehead and mangalsutra on my neck. He got so upset and sad the next morning after i had shower, i could see it in his face. I was back as his newly wed wife after he was back from office. He lifted me in his arms and made me feel so fragile soft petite and submissive. May be the attire, the ambience, his presence was too overwhelming..
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